Does Cindy Anthony hold any responsibility for Casey’s actions?
After Sunday night’s candlelight vigil, Cindy Anthony talked about the State of Florida’s decision to not seek the death penalty for Casey.
Cindy said she thought the idea of the death penalty for Casey was ridiculous. “I think we should be out there looking for Caylee and not focused on a few lies Casey told to the Sheriff’s Office. The evidence will speak for itself. I don’t think they have much of a case at all. I don’t think they have a death penalty case at all, so I wasn’t surprised,” she said.
A FEW LIES?????? Oh my……..Seems like Cindy is of the opinion that LE should handle Casey the same way she always has–by pretending her actions are not as serious as they really are, or better yet, by pretending what she did never happened. (how could my daughter be suspected of murdering her daughter–alls she did was tell a few lies!) Never mind that she waited a month to report Caylee missing. Never mind that she wasted taxpayer’s money and LE’s valuable time traipsing all over town checking out leads that turned out to be false. Never mind that they’re no closer to finding Caylee now than they were in July. Never mind her daughter is the only one who knows where Caylee might be, and instead of talking, she’s decided to engage everyone involved in a game of Clue. (A game, by the way, that only Cindy seems willing to play.)
In Cindy’s mind, it’s just a few lies here and there–why all the fuss?? Remember what Cindy said to Jessie Grund’s dad when he told her Casey stole from them? “Oh, she only did it once?” insinuating he shouldn’t make such a big deal of it since apparently “once” doesn’t actually constitute a real hosing in Cindy’s eyes. Then there’s the “who’s pregnant????” episode at the family wedding when brother Rick voiced what the whole clan was thinking–“When were you gonna tell us Casey was 7 months pregnant?” Cindy was indignant. “Unless my saintly daughter is involved in a reenactment of the Virgin birth, no way is she preggers–cuz’ my baby don’t have sex. She’s just retaining water.” Yes, I’m exaggerating her response–a little.
I’m not exaggerating the fact that everyone, including Casey’s grandmother,( a victim herself), knew Casey had major problems-everyone except Cindy. And, because Cindy didn’t “see” whatever Casey’s original underlying problem was, she certainly couldn’t see that that problem had spiraled into major issues. So, Casey was allowed to continue to spin out of control, blissfully unaccountable for any and all of her actions. She sent out red flag after red flag that she was in trouble. George saw it, her friends saw it, her family saw it, but because Cindy didn’t want to see it, Casey not only didn’t learn from her mistakes, she came to believe she wasn’t making any. And Cindy continued to clean up after Casey (over and over and over again), with the attitude–“It’s only a few little things-nothing big–give her a break!” Give ME a break!!
I know it sounds like I’m really down on Cindy and blaming her for Casey’s problems, and to an extent, I guess I am. It’s frustrating to me because in a lot of ways, I can soooo relate to Cindy Anthony. I understand her (to a point) because at one time–in more ways than I care to count, I WAS her. I’ve been there–done that. Our situation didn’t end in a tragedy–though it easily could have. I was able, with tremendous effort on my part and that of my husband, to turn our situation around. (Yes, I AM patting us on the back here cuz’ it was the hardest damn thing we’ve ever done in our lives!) We changed our family dynamic and by doing so, allowed our oldest son to reach his true potential-HIS not ours. He was lucky and so were we, because we got him and us the right help in time.
I have empathy for Cindy–how could I not? But, I do hold her partially responsible for Caylee’s fate because I know from experience that Casey was, at some point in her life, if not fixable–at least, patchable. The Anthony family’s terrible tragedy could possibly have been avoided if, years ago, Cindy had faced up to what her daughter was becoming and taken the difficult steps to help her become responsible for her own actions as well as her own future. Instead, she took the easy way out. Caylee might not be missing today, and Casey might not be sitting in jail for her murder if Casey had learned the lessons most children are taught by their parents when they are very young.
Proper parenting is hard. Yes, everyone tells you that, but no one tells you that it is actually more painful for the parents than the kids. It’s painful for us to let our children fail. I know this all to well from my own life. We had problems with our oldest son, starting when he was about 13. He got progressively worse, but because it was so gradual, we just couldn’t see it. We just kept going behind him and fixing what we felt were minor incidents. My husband got fed up long before I did and wanted to take what I considered to be drastic measures to fix our problem. He actually wanted our son to start having real consequences for his actions and be allowed to suffer those consequences even if it meant being suspended from school, spending a night in juvenile hall-or worse. I couldn’t and wouldn’t even consider that course, and it caused some major problems between us.
My best friend came to visit us for a week when he was 15. At that point, he was totally out of control–drinking, drugging, partying, sneaking out at night, stealing from us and others-wreaking havoc on our finances (he wrecked both of our cars within a month of each other), cursing his dad and me, etc. etc. etc.–the list was endless. We were sleeping with one eye open-literally–(we hid a baby monitor in the bushes outside his window so we could hear him when he snuck out. That made for some sleepless frog croaking filled nights let me tell ya! We were exhausted mentally and physically)
Anyway, my friend sat with me over coffee one morning and quietly pointed out that ALL our lives were spinning out of control because of our son’s behavior. Our two younger sons were being neglected because we were so focused on him. He needed help. WE needed help. Because we were living in the middle of the chaos, we couldn’t see the forest for the trees (or is that the trees for the forest?) Long story short, we joined a Tough Love group to help ourselves, and as we grew stronger, we were able to take the necessary steps to get him help. It all came to a head the day before Thanksgiving, and he ended up spending the holiday in treatment. He cried, begged, cajoled–he used every manipulation trick in the book to keep us from leaving him in that place, but somehow, with God’s help, we were able to muster the strength and the courage to walk away. I’ll never forget his sobs. We could hear them even after the elevator doors closed. It was the worst Thanksgiving of our lives–it was the worst DAY of our lives, but we stuck to our guns.
I’d like to say he came home after that and we all lived happily ever after, but that wasn’t the case. We spent another 7 long years dealing with his problems before he finally started to turn himself around. It was tough for all of us. It would have been so much easier to just pretend everything was ok , but we didn’t. It was a hard road, but he finally came out on the other side, a responsible contributing member of society.
Do I hold Cindy and George responsible for Caylee’s death? No, of course not. Casey is responsible for what happened to Caylee. But, I do believe the way Cindy and George parented their daughter makes them 100% responsible for the shallow, self-centered adult and parent Casey became. Cindy and George, as her parents, should have taken more seriously their responsibility to raise their child to be a functioning adult. If she needed help they shouldn’t have buried their heads in the sand. They should have taken the time and mustered the strength to force Casey to pay for her early mistakes. We might not be sitting here discussing the disappearance of Caylee Marie Anthony if they had.