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Does Cindy Anthony hold any responsibility for Casey’s actions?

December 8, 2008

After Sunday night’s candlelight vigil,  Cindy Anthony talked about the State of Florida’s decision to not seek the death penalty for Casey.

Cindy said she thought the idea of the death penalty for Casey was ridiculous.  “I think we should be out there looking for Caylee and not focused on a few lies Casey told to the Sheriff’s Office. The evidence will speak for itself. I don’t think they have much of a case at all. I don’t think they have a death penalty case at all, so I wasn’t surprised,” she said.

A FEW LIES?????? Oh my……..Seems like Cindy is of the opinion that LE should handle Casey the same way she always has–by pretending her actions are not as serious as they really are, or better yet, by pretending what she did never happened. (how could my daughter be suspected of murdering her daughter–alls she did was tell a few lies!)  Never mind that she waited a month to report Caylee missing. Never mind that she wasted taxpayer’s money and LE’s valuable time traipsing all over town checking out leads that turned out to be false.  Never mind that they’re no closer to finding Caylee now than they were in July.  Never mind her daughter is the only one who knows where Caylee might be, and instead of talking, she’s decided to engage everyone involved in a game of Clue. (A game, by the way, that only Cindy seems willing to play.)

In Cindy’s mind, it’s just a few lies here and there–why all the fuss??  Remember what Cindy said to Jessie Grund’s dad when he told her Casey stole  from them? “Oh, she only did it once?” insinuating he shouldn’t make such a big deal of it since apparently “once” doesn’t actually constitute a real hosing in Cindy’s eyes.  Then there’s the “who’s pregnant????” episode at the family wedding when brother Rick voiced what the whole clan was thinking–“When were you gonna tell us Casey was 7 months pregnant?”  Cindy was indignant.  “Unless my saintly daughter is involved in a reenactment of the Virgin birth, no way is she preggers–cuz’ my baby don’t have sex. She’s just retaining water.” Yes, I’m exaggerating her response–a little.

I’m not exaggerating the fact that everyone, including Casey’s grandmother,( a victim herself), knew Casey had major problems-everyone except Cindy.  And, because Cindy didn’t “see” whatever Casey’s original underlying problem was, she certainly couldn’t see that that problem had spiraled  into major issues.  So, Casey was allowed to continue to spin out of control, blissfully unaccountable for any and all of her actions.  She sent out red flag after red flag that she was in trouble.  George saw it, her friends saw it, her family saw it, but because Cindy didn’t want to see it, Casey not only didn’t learn from her mistakes, she came to believe she wasn’t making any. And Cindy continued to clean up after Casey (over and over and over again),  with the attitude–“It’s only a few little things-nothing big–give her a break!” Give ME a break!!

I know it sounds like I’m really down on Cindy and blaming her for Casey’s problems, and to an extent, I guess I am. It’s frustrating to me because in a lot of ways,  I can soooo relate to Cindy Anthony.  I understand her (to a point) because at one time–in more ways than I care to count, I WAS her.  I’ve been there–done that.  Our situation didn’t end in a tragedy–though it easily could have.   I was able, with tremendous effort on my part and that of my husband, to turn our situation around. (Yes, I AM patting us on the back here cuz’ it was the hardest damn thing we’ve ever done in our lives!) We changed our family dynamic and by doing so, allowed our oldest son to reach his true potential-HIS not ours.  He was lucky and so were we, because we got him and us the right help in time.

I have empathy for Cindy–how could I not?  But, I do hold her partially responsible for Caylee’s fate because I know from experience that Casey was, at some point in her life, if not fixable–at least, patchable.  The Anthony family’s terrible tragedy could possibly have been avoided if, years ago, Cindy had faced up to what her daughter was becoming and taken the difficult steps to help her become responsible for her own actions as well as her own future. Instead, she took the easy way out.  Caylee might not be missing today, and Casey might not be sitting in jail for her murder if Casey had learned the lessons most children are taught by their parents when they are very young.

Proper parenting is hard.  Yes, everyone tells you that, but no one tells you that it is actually more painful for the parents than the kids.  It’s painful for us to let our children fail. I know this all to well from my own life. We had problems with our oldest son, starting when he was about 13.  He got progressively worse, but because it was so gradual, we just couldn’t see it.  We just kept going behind him and fixing what we felt  were minor incidents.  My husband got fed up long before I did and wanted to take what I considered to be drastic measures to fix our problem.  He actually wanted our son to start having real consequences for his actions and be allowed to suffer those consequences  even if it meant being suspended from school, spending a night in juvenile hall-or worse. I couldn’t and wouldn’t even consider that course,  and it caused some major problems between us.

My best friend came to visit us for a week when he was 15.  At that point, he was totally out of control–drinking, drugging, partying, sneaking out at night, stealing from us and others-wreaking havoc on our finances (he wrecked both of our cars within a month of each other), cursing his dad and me, etc. etc. etc.–the list was endless. We were sleeping with one eye open-literally–(we hid a baby monitor in the bushes outside his window so we could hear him when he snuck out. That made for some sleepless frog croaking filled nights let me tell ya! We were exhausted mentally and physically)

Anyway, my friend sat with me over coffee one morning and quietly pointed out that ALL our lives were spinning out of control because of our son’s behavior. Our two younger sons were being neglected  because we were so focused on him.  He needed help.  WE needed help.  Because we were living in the middle of the chaos, we couldn’t see the forest for the trees (or is that the trees for the forest?)  Long story short, we joined a Tough Love group to help ourselves, and as we grew stronger, we were able to take the necessary steps to get him help.  It all came to a head the day before Thanksgiving, and he ended up spending the holiday in treatment. He cried, begged, cajoled–he used every manipulation trick in the book to keep us from leaving him in that place, but somehow, with God’s help, we were able to muster the strength and the courage to walk away. I’ll never forget his sobs.  We could hear them even after the elevator doors closed.  It was the worst Thanksgiving of our lives–it was the worst DAY of our lives, but we stuck to our guns.

I’d like to say he came home after that and we all lived happily ever after, but that wasn’t the case.  We spent another 7 long years dealing with his problems before he finally started to turn himself around.  It was tough for all of us.  It would have been so much easier to just pretend everything was ok , but we didn’t.  It was  a hard road, but he finally came out on the other side, a responsible  contributing member of society.

Do I hold Cindy and George responsible for Caylee’s death?  No, of course not. Casey is responsible for what happened to Caylee.  But, I do believe the way Cindy and George parented their daughter makes them 100% responsible for the shallow, self-centered adult and parent Casey became.   Cindy and George, as her parents, should have taken more seriously their responsibility to raise their child to be a functioning adult. If she needed help they shouldn’t have buried their heads in the sand. They should have taken the time and mustered the strength to force Casey to pay for her early mistakes.  We might not be sitting here discussing the disappearance of Caylee Marie Anthony if they had.

21 Comments leave one →
  1. artgal16 permalink
    December 8, 2008 11:04 pm

    Many health professionals feel the mother can make a sociopath. I dont know
    if its true, but there are degrees of sociopathy and I think that both Cindy
    and George to a smaller degree exhibit sociopathic behavior. Not all sociopaths
    are criminals. I think in Cindy’s case and Georges case, that lying is a way of life with them. Maybe not the big lie, though in Georges case I understand
    that he lied to Cindy initially about losing all that money on internet gambling.
    He has lied about how he lost the money as well, his story is he fell for the Nigerian scam – I dont think so – the guy was a policeman for heavens sake – he wouldnt fall for that. Cindy lies all the time to everyone about this case. She lied
    about there being pizza in the trunk, she lied to the FBI by giving them what was
    supposed to be Caylee’s hairbrush which wasnt. She wanted to give them the dogs
    toothbrush instead of Caylees she said. I dont know many normal people whose child
    was in serious trouble, who would purposely lie to the authorities the way she has.
    Casey was never corrected, Cindy supposedly believed her lies all these years and
    defended her. It was just once she stole from you? Oh, thats not so much. She
    never lost Caylee before, this was the first time!. Shes not pregnant, shes
    just gained weight. Wait until she sees exhibited some of the photos that have
    been taken of Casey, from what I undertand they are quite shocking. George was
    told this by the FBI. I just wonder what exactly Cindy thinks is the proper “punishment” of Casey for “losing” Caylee. Does she think we should just
    let her out of jail and tell her to be more careful when she has her next child?
    There is something very wrong with all the Anthony’s. I think that George and Cindy were very careful in the way they talked to her in those recorded videos because
    they knew that in one instant she could be set off and start cursing at them
    and they knew how bad it would look. They have every reason to be afraid of Casey
    they might have been next, if she had gotten away with killing Caylee.

  2. topcat08 permalink
    December 9, 2008 12:06 am

    Mystery…….Bravo!!Its not easy to raise children these days. With all the outside influences and most parents just trying to survive. You are right, George and Cindy are not responsible for Caylee death, but they are responsible for what Casey is. The more I see of Cindy the more I think that her and Casey are two of a kind. Either one has a problem with throwing out a lie. My dad was not one to spare the rod, when it came to pointing my two brothers and myself in the right direction. As far back as I can remember my dad use to tell me never to lie to him. He said no matter how bad the truth is, its better than the lie. He said people can’t stand a lier! You can guard yourself against almost anything, except a lier. It’s easy to see Cindy and George didn’t teach Casey that. Glad things turned out for you and your family.

  3. Molly permalink
    December 9, 2008 1:35 am

    A thorough, heartfelt & touching post Mystery. Casey always got her way or what she wanted or she screamed, manipulated or fought with them. They dropped the ball on drawing the line with her and letting the antics continue. So now Casey ‘s done it again, she got what she wanted. G&C are now helping her get it. She didn’t want to be responsible for a child, I think in a way she wanted to hurt Cindy, and she wanted their total attention. I remember those first phone calls with Casey saying nastily “My own family isn’t supporting me or they don’t believe me” & “All they want is to find Caylee, that’s all they’re concerned about” & then she adds, oh, and as it should be. So, now they believe her (?), support her, she certainly has their attention & no responsibilites of a child, job or even money for that matter. She got her beautiful life, OOPs! Problem, she got caught, people really want to know how you got rid of your daughter, don’t believe your lies and are not going to let you just slip by and say oh, o.k., whatever happened, you can go now. End of the line, you will have to stay in jail. No partying, no guys, no friends left. Maybe the family will visit on occasion, but a whole new (not so beautiful life).

  4. MAND permalink
    December 9, 2008 4:09 am

    Mystery,
    You and your husband are to be commended. What you did to save your son and family was not easy for any of you,you stayed the course and it took years to accomplish what you did but you hung in there and was rewarded in the end.

    Cindy as we know her could not have handled the length of time it took to get the results you did,plus Cindy is all about how she wants others to view her family she wants everyone to think THEY ARE THE PERFECT FAMILY,for her to have taken any action would be to admit they were not,and someone might find out that her family was flawed. Cindy is responsible for how KC turned out,she and George were not in the least good parents. They all lied, it was a way of life for them,it didn’t bother them in the least. There was no guidance, no morals taught they lived pretty much as they pleased, if it felt good if you wanted something that belonged to someone else, if it would make you happy, take it, MOM will fix it.
    Mom can not fix this one,this is a first for KC. and I would Cindy to, she had fixed it all before,this is hard for her, she is failing KC. first time ever and can’t handle it.

  5. punkinpie permalink
    December 9, 2008 7:26 am

    The responsibility lies on Casey. She is playing this out to its fullest because she knows her Mother will stand by her as she always has. Even in tough times full of turmoil Cindy has never abandoned Casey. Casey therefore is taking advantage of that and staking her life on it.
    Casey was an adult, I don’t care if she was a young adult, she was still responsible for her own daughter. Look at all of the video and pictures of Casey and Caylee. You have to wonder what snapped? Casey at one time truly loved her daughter. Cindy has crazy antics of course and what she does and says isn’t always of “sound” mind at times. But look also who has befriended her: a sleezy frumpy spokesperson from KidFinders, several money hungry attention seeking spokespersons. I think as a parent Cindy is in protective mode, I too think she is feeling incredibly guilty for the argument and not taking Caylee with her. But she didn’t because she was going to go through the proper channels and file for custody. Cindy was going to counseling. How can we falt her for that. I certainly Men, party-life and money obviously played a more important role for Casey; accident or by intent, Casey needs to be held accountable.

  6. txnancy permalink
    December 9, 2008 7:35 am

    Mystery I applaud you and your husband for going thru the tough love. I can only imagine how hard that had to be. I will not(because I have never been thru it) state that I know what you went threw, just as I never told my friend I knew what she went thru when she lost her son(5 when he drowned). She and I became closer because out of everyone she knew I was the only one who said I can only imagine but I do not know, but I am here for you.

    Cindy and George have enabled Casey for so long to lie, steal and get away with it. It seems to Casey, C&G that everyone they know lie except them. They of course only tell 1/2 truths, but keep in mind they do not lie. LOL, If you listened to the tapes no matter who Cindy asked about Casey always turned it against them. There was one on the N.G show last night that Cindy asked Casey about and she(Cindy) pulled the phone away from here ear almost to say, crud will you stop lying.

    Parenting is hard these days, because of all of the influences etc. We have raised our kids to tell the truth and I will confront them if I think they are lying. They know the consequences are harsh and that it will take a while for the trust to be back.

    I know my parents raised 6 of us. Yes we had our issues and got in trouble, I will admit that we were not perfect. But my parents did a great job raising us. I think partly because @ dinner we all talked about our day. We had to talk about 1 good thing that happened to us and 1 bad thing that happened to us. I still carry this forward with our kids.
    It is called communication which is something that I doubt the Ants had, or if they did it was lie after lie after lie.

    Caylee we are all praying for you and for the justice your deserve.

  7. Kari permalink
    December 9, 2008 7:35 am

    Thank you, Mystery, for sharing your story. Relationships are hard work, and parenting can be the toughest. I’ve learned the hard way that it is very difficult to help anybody. Often the best we can do is just be there, be a listening ear, or a hand to hold, shoulder to lean on. Other times the best we can do is to stand firm and callously refuse to be sucked into a bad situation.

    It is admirable that you were able to stand firm and maintain your own sanity, and that of the rest of the family. All too often, just as you said, the whole family is irrevocably damaged because of one troubled person. Your strength saved you and your loved ones untold grief…

    Having said that, I’m afraid I still don’t exactly hold Cindy culpable for the person Casey has become. I doubt whether the best parenting in the world could help a true sociopath, and Lee seems ok… But I do think Casey more or less inherited her personality from her parents. I maintain that if you take Cindy’s blather and stubborn resistance to unpleasant realities, and George’s facile charm, you get Casey’s glib lies and lack of concern for, well, anything but herself…

    Also, while a lot of people see Casey’s changed behavior since Caylee’s birth as merely a young woman rebelling against the burdens of motherhood–I think it is possible, and even likely, that with the birth of her first child, Casey underwent some profound chemical and hormonal changes that affected her mental health. I’m not thinking post-partum depression so much as the typical early-twenties onset of many serious mental illnesses.

    Even though I’ve been informed that sociopathy is not considered a mental illness… Call a rose by any other name, and it still stinks to be Casey! Or anyone who cares for her.

  8. December 9, 2008 7:38 am

    Mystery, I echo what Mand said above…And am thankful that my 19yr. old hasn’t had any major problems!However, I have two young(7 & 8)boys that I worry about their future, mostly because their father was raised(from what I can gather about Anthonys)much like casey.His parents were ALWAYS there, and still are,to “bail” him out.He is smart, talented, etc. but at 42yrs old has nothing to show for his life.I think his parents were always worried about others’ opinions of their family,(still are) and like MAND said, that’s all cindys’ concerned about.Dicipline is sooo important, as I’ve tried to tell my husband, and dicipline is NOT yelling at them and telling them to do better next time!!Anyway, thanks for letting me vent!!If I get nothing from my “obsession” with this case, I will be much harder on my kids to be an HONEST person, no matter what!Hopefully, cindy/casey will be a warning to others, also.Poor little Caylee-she’ll end up saving others…

  9. itsamysterytome permalink*
    December 9, 2008 8:59 am

    Thanks you guys for wading through that “lengthy” post. I’m definitely too wordy again today as well, but here goes!

    I do think Casey is a sociopath and therefore nothing Cindy and George could have done would have changed her inability to feel emotions in the same way we do. BUT, and here’s the thing. I don’t think Cindy and George ever took the time–from the first little lies she told as a child,(her friends have said she was always a liar),to correct her behavior. When her lies became more serious, they never explored the possibility that their daughter needed help. Kari,I agree that her sociopathy became full blown as an adult, but I think it was always there if you knew what to look for. Parents KNOW when something’s not quite right with their kids. I fault Cindy and George for not getting Casey help when it could have made a difference.

    My personal feeling is that sociopathy may be a combination of nature/nurture. A sociopath is BORN with a brain that can’t process emotion-a disability-and like other handicapped people, how well a sociopath learns to adapt to his surroundings will determine his success in life. We aren’t born knowing how to behave–we are TAUGHT life’s lessons, and from everything I’ve read and been told, sociopaths are fast-learners.

    A functioning sociopath learns how to behave and survive in this world from his caregivers. Artgal believes there are degrees of sociopathy. I think there are degrees of CONTROL with sociopathy. How well they learn to adapt to the world around them and learn to fit in by mimicking other people’s emotions determines whether they are functioning or non-functioning sociopaths.There are apparently lots of sociopaths running around out there, but only a few become the Ted Bundys’ of the world.

    Cindy spent most of her marriage dealing with George-getting him out of one mess after another and she juggled that with supporting the family financially–for the most part by herself. It was natural (and easy) to fall into those same patterns with her children. If Casey is a sociopath and learned behavior from her parents–George, a practiced liar, was her best teacher and Cindy stood by and let it happen.

    You are right, pumkinpie. Cindy never abandoned Casey-she was always there for her. But,there’s a difference between rescuing someone and saving him. You can rescue a drowning person, but if he goes back into the water, he’s still gonna drown. You can save him by teaching him how to swim. Cindy was a rescuer—not a savior– with her husband and her children. I agree with Mand and Stacy that she was big on going around and fixing their problems—unfortunately she never taught them how to avoid those problems altogether. Big difference IMO, and that’s where I fault her.

    (txnanacy-my folks didn’t spare the rod either, and I spanked my children. I know that’s controversial now, but I tell ya, I think if some of these little snots running around had a good ole fashioned ass whoopin’ we would all be amazed at how fast they could change their tunes!

  10. itsamysterytome permalink*
    December 9, 2008 9:06 am

    Molly

    The thing that really bothers me about Casey and her beautiful life is that she obviously thought she was going to be able to talk her way out of Caylee’s disappearance. How could she think that? She doesn’t seem like a particularly unintelligent person. She apparently had several half-baked plans about what she would tell people happened, but she seems to have been completely caught off guard by all the “fuss” being made over Caylee’s disappearance. It just makes no sense that she thought her problem would just go away. If I were her defense I would definitely play the insanity card with her.

  11. Lily~Rose permalink
    December 9, 2008 9:27 am

    Hollywood could’nt even write this stuff! The saga of the Anthony Family is unbeliveable!!!!

  12. halfpint42592 permalink
    December 9, 2008 10:22 am

    Major BRAVO to you for hanging in there and teaching your son that every action has a consequence. Unfortunately too many parents give up too soon, or choose to make excuses for their childrens behavior. I have two teenage sons and they have been raised from day one to know that they can come to us with anything, be truthful and we will work it out. Lie to us and you will spend the next ten years gaining our trust back. My oldest son upon entering high school was told: These can be the best years of your life or the worst depending on how you CHOOSE to play the game. Fortunately we have been blessed with two boys who are pretty good for the most part. Yet he has many friends who he has grown up with that I look at and think: ” What are their parents thinking?” One rules his house, swears at his parents, threatens his father with bodily harm,takes their debit cards time and again, drinks, does drugs and the latest announcement from him is that he wants to get his girlfriend pregnant because he thinks it would be cool to have a kid!
    I know his mother for many years and when we talked about his behavior this past September her entire take on it is: Raising teenagers is no fun huh? She asked if I was having the same issues with my son as if it was normal. I asked her what she was doing to correct the problem? Her response was: She’s on it! He is grounded and not allowed to go anywhere, but his friends can come over. He has failed drug tests every other month and she found out that they were drinking in his bedroom when they were coming over so now she makes him go to church every Sunday. Is your mouth hanging open yet? It is time for parents to start taking responsibility for their kids and stop thinking that they can be their friends! That comes much later when they have given them the tools necessary to fly in this world…

  13. nina permalink
    December 9, 2008 10:45 am

    I think Casey was allowed to take control of everything sence she was little.They treated her like some princess.She did something wrong and she was slapped on the hand and told not to do it again.Time after time til she grew up and then Cindy and George couldnt control her anymore.My sons are both grown and I will tell you I spanked mine and when they did something they were punished for it..Most of us teach our children from the time they are little the wrongs and rights..I remember my oldest son was 18 and he came home from a foot ball game from school,and my husband went out to my son car and came in with two beer cans in his hands.My son tried to say he wasnt drinking them while driving,but we didnt exactly go along with his answer because we didnt believe he was telling us the truth.My husband asked my son to turn over his car keys to him ,of course my son said to his father you cant do that,its my car,my husband said watch me.My son handed over the keys and my son wasnt allowed to drive this car for a month.We took the car away from him..None of this slapping him on the hand and saying just dont do it again..He is grown now and he is a wonderful husband and a good father..We have sence talked about some of these incidents when he was growing up and he knows it was because we loved him and wanted him to grow into a reponsible adult.Its not easy being a parent but most of us want our children to grow up and be decent, responsible people.I myself wasnt the type of parent to shove what my son did under the carpet and pretend it would all go away in time.I stayed on top of my son and that took alot of work but it paid off.

  14. niecey456 permalink
    December 9, 2008 10:48 am

    Mystery, I applaud you and your husband for loving you son enough to stand up and be good parents. That is the hardest thing to do. I know, I have 4 kids and have had my share of problems with them. You have to deal with your problems. You can’t sweep them under the rug. When it comes to kids and we do that, we are doing them a disservice. You have to deal with things head on. I also believe that a few ass whoopins are overdue in this world. My parents did it with me and I did it with mine. It’s hard to raise kids in this day and time and it gets harder with every generation, as they are subjected to everything you teach them is wrong at school, other kids houses. I’ve even had other parents go behind my back and belittle me to my kids, and tell them I was wrong. Unfortunately these were the same parents who would drink and party with my kids.

  15. pak31 permalink
    December 9, 2008 11:27 am

    What a great write up Mystery!! Having children of my own, 11 and 7, I have learned that children ARE born with their own personalities BUT you as the parent mold and shape them into who they become. As they get older they start to become influenced by the world and people around them and you can’t always be there for them physically to make sure they don’t do anything wrong. But as long as you really have tried your best and you have loved your child with all of your heart there still can be that child that betrays you or does something wrong. So, it can go both ways. But that being said, IF you do your best, the chances are much greater to have a child who has a great head on their shoulders and will make the right choices in life. So you are right, Cindy is to blame yet she is to be sympathized with as well. It seems to me from the George and Casey jail visit that George really tried to let Casey know she is loved, etc. but that she HAS to give all the info she can and that she has to do what is right no matter how hard it could be. I believe in a nice way he was trying to kind of get on her good side, not to deceive her but to try and get her to open up. But to no avail. Their relationship seems better than hers and Cindys but Cindy was the one who enabled or gave in to Casey. Had she put her foot down earlier and not let her get away with so much and who knows, maybe even handled arguments better, Casey may have not had such a resentment against her. It’s a tough thing to analyze. Like neicey says above, you can’t sweep them under a rug. My older child is at the age to give me some problems and sometimes I say to myself. “I give up” but then I tell myself no, as a parent you can NEVER give up. They are your responsibility and if you don’t set them on the right path, no one will. You can’t ever give up, not til the day you die.

  16. Truth4Caylee permalink
    December 9, 2008 11:32 am

    Well that’s how it is today or for at least the last 20 years,parents just want to be friendswith their kids. Even t.v shows, you’ll notice the kid or kids are portrayed as the genuis and the parent is the clueless dummy.

    At the bond hearing,Cindy described Casey as her best friend. Obviously there were never boundaries or discipline. So of course Casey is a lying,bully murderer. I’m sure there was jelousy over how much attention Caylee got. After Casey got out of jail the first time,her useless mom claims Casey slept in bedroom with a teddybear ( WTF? ) At 22, I was already living on my own and working fulltime. What 22 year old sleeps with a teddybear in her parents bedroom ( shaking head ).

  17. itsamysterytome permalink*
    December 9, 2008 8:31 pm

    halfpint and niecey–Oh yes, I have known many parents like you’ve described–more than one set of parents (or parent, singular-more kids than not only had one parent in the home)of kids my sons went to school with would punish their child for something they did and then rescind that punishment because some event at school would come up and they didn’t want their child to miss out and God forbid,suffer. I would think–isn’t that the point of a punishment? You want them to suffer a little? It used to p–s me off because then, when I would try to punish my own kids they would come back with, “Johnny’s Mom let him go to the dance even though he was grounded.” Those parents make it so much harder for those of us trying to do the right thing.

    I agree Pak31–if you really try to do the right thing when it comes to your kids, you have a much greater chance of that kid turning out ok. I don’t think you can love a kid too much, but too many parents equate giving your kid whatever he wants with love. I agree with Truth4Caylee-sure a kid wants your love but what they really need is your discipline. Oonce again Hollywood is partially to blame for the attitude of kids today. Most of the popular sitcoms do portray the parents as idiots.

  18. miki01 permalink
    December 9, 2008 8:57 pm

    Cindy and Casey remind me of my stepdaughter and her mother. As a child up until approx 12 yrs old, my stepdaughter was a perfect child without a voice. At 12 unable to keep up the illusion of being perfect she began to lie, steal in addition to conning and manipulating people and situations. To the outside the mother would deny, make excuses for her and cover up any wrongdoings that her daughter committed. It was never her fault always someone or something else and my stepdaughter never learned to take responsibility. Instead she gained a sense of entitlement and continued down the same path. Her mother on the other hand had issue with perfection and appearances and never allowed the ugly truth to become public that is until her behavior was noticed by the school, family and police. The mother also denied her daughter psychological help because it would ruin the appearance of a perfect family and would be an humiliation the mother could not handle. At home behind closed doors it was a different world altogether. The mother was very domineering and would try to make her daughter into the person she wanted by verbal and physical abuse but to no avail. It was a love/hate relationship. My stepdaughter is now 28 and in therapy. She has been diagnosed as having an antisocial personality disorder and even today one has to be on guard of what she says and does.

    In following this case whenever I hear Cindy I get that old deja vu feeling and cringe. Does Cindy know what she sounds like? Does she remember all that she has said and how contradictory she has been? The way she treated Tim Miller, Leonard Padilla and all those who have supported the search for Caylee its like Cindy feels that the Anthonys are entitled and aren’t grateful for anything. Especially since these people were looking for a “dead” Caylee instead of an alive one. She has some nerve. At least all the volunteers were looking for Caylee. To date it seems that besides George driving around the “Have you seen me” truck and Cindy on TV the Anthony have not been proactive into getting the truth from Casey to find Caylee’s body because they know the child is gone. Their stance is it’s not my daughter fault but someone else. Cindy may not be directly responsible for Caylee’s death but she has enabled Casey for many years that has lead up to this poor angel’s demise. At the beginning I felt sympathy for the Anthonys but as time goes by and each time I hear some of the ridculous things that Cindy has to say I see that she is a piece of the puzzle of Casey’s web of deceit.

  19. itsamysterytome permalink*
    December 9, 2008 9:27 pm

    Miki-You are exactly right and couldn’t have said it better. The Anthonys have this odd sense of entitlement. I’ve never heard of a missing child case where the family wasn’t right out there in the trenches looking. The Anthonys just seem to think everyone else should be busting butt searching while they spend their time flying around the country doing interviews, etc. Just outrageous.

  20. halfpint42592 permalink
    December 11, 2008 8:34 am

    Miki, unfortunately there are more parents like the one you just described than the ones who don’t give a hoot if there kid is upset by their decisions. I only used one example but I could go on and on. I have a sister in law who is exactly like what you described. She always makes excuses for her childrens behavior, even when they are blatently at fault. The lesson learned? Their mother will get them out of anything and therefore they can act as they wish. If the law started holding parents accountable then I think they might take notice…

  21. hvf permalink
    January 1, 2009 10:27 am

    How SAD. What a Terrible consequence to 22 years of crap parenting. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. The pain that Cindy and George are going through is absolutely beyond comprehension. It makes me want to be open to any red flags that come my way with any children or grandchildren. HOW INCREDIBLY SAD!

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